


Under the Light of the Moon

by rownthehabbitdole



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom, Marauders Era - Fandom, Wolfstar - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-09-06 01:48:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16822678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rownthehabbitdole/pseuds/rownthehabbitdole
Summary: It's WolfStar trash. I'm sorry in advance





	1. January 1, 1981, 3:07 AM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired rn I'm goofing hardcore at the moment   
> I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna casually muck everything up  
> But whatever  
> It's fine

“So. What exactly is this supposed to be?”  
Sirius raised a thick, feathered eyebrow, looking up through eyes ringed heavily with booze and exhaustion.  
“Rem, buddy, what the hell kind of question is that?”  
Remus held a heavy contrast to his raven-haired friend.  
Those thick sandy waves to that long black hair.  
The warm (if slightly greying) brown complexion to the iced, ivory skin.  
Honeyed hazel eyes to orbs of steely silver.  
Someone so tightly wound he could hardly stand to breathe or move or even think sometimes, to someone who had an electric energy that rolled off of him in thick, poignant waves.  
Merlin help him, Remus barely had enough self restraint to keep from jumping the boy.  
Finally, holding out his hands, Remus sighed, “I mean, what are we doing? What’s happening here? What is this?”  
It was a blur.  
Remus nearly couldn’t believe how fast Sirius was moving.  
Sure, he was as much of a dog as Remus was, but all of his movements thus far had been thickly laced with the exorbitant amounts of firewhiskey he’d drank, and the extreme fog of lack of sleep he was under.  
And yet?  
In an instant, Remus was pinned underneath his best friend.  
In an instant, the black-haired runaway was atop his best friend, knees on either side of his hips.  
In an instant, their lips were together.  
If Remus hadn’t already been wasted, he would’ve been drunk in an instant with the feeling of that kiss.  
Finally, after what was either an eternity or a second, their mouths pulled apart.  
As Sirius smirked down at him, he felt of a rush of electricity through his body, one amplified by the man’s husky, sweet whisper, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I guess I’d call it love.”


	2. September 1, 1976, 9:02 AM

Sixth year students had never exactly been famous for their peace and quiet, that was never   
questioned by anyone.  
But when the Marauders made it to sixth year?  
That was a whole new story.   
The air of the entire wizarding world thickened when the four boys finally found themselves tucked into their compartment at the back of the train.   
They’d arrived slowly, one by one.   
Sirius Black came first, sharing the bench he sat on with his little brother for a while.  
“Regulus, man, I think we could really do this, y’know? We could really be brothers this year. Just come to the Potter’s with me for Christmas. Hell, we could even stay at the school, if that’d make you more comfortable.”  
The two fine siblings from the Noble House of Black had been holding this argument for quite some time, one that wasn’t much of a fight with each other, but rather a battle the two boys were attempting to face within themselves.   
Sighing, Regulus reached out his hand, as if to touch his brother’s face, snapping it back just before the contact could come, “You know. You know that I can’t do that. I can’t, Sirius. They would kill me. They’d…”  
Sirius laughed, short and rough, “They’d disown you?”  
“Well,” Regulus turned bright red, matching the color of his brother’s tie, (which of course Sirius had already put on, the bastard couldn’t stand to be anything but true to his Hogwarts house), “Yeah. They’d disown me. And I’m sorry, Sirius, you know I am, but I can’t. I don’t have anyone to take me in if I got kicked out like-”  
“Do not say kicked out like I did. I did not get kicked out of that bloody house, I ran away. Understand?”  
Regulus scrambled back from his brother for just a moment, moving back into his former spot as he watched the other boy’s softening features, “Sorry, Sirius. I know that you ran away. I just meant that I’m scared, okay? I’m fucking scared and I don’t have a damn thing to do about it. I can’t just run away like you did. I don’t have anywhere to go.”  
“You could come live at the Potters.”   
Snickering softly to himself, Regulus ran a hand through his hair, so much shorter and neater than his older brother’s, “Sirius, James Potter is not my best friend. He’s your best friend. James Potter is not my-” His voice broke for a moment, “James Potter is not my brother. He’s your brother. I can’t live in his house. It wouldn’t work.”  
Had Regulus looked up at that moment, he would’ve seen Sirius’s heart breaking, would’ve watched it cloud his face, would have seen the bare edge of a tear that started to form, which Sirius hastily blinked back.  
But here we stand now, knowing what they did not, and we know that Regulus did not look up.  
And that honestly, he wouldn’t have wanted to.   
Finally, after what felt like years, Regulus stood up, “Bye, Sirius. I’ll see you later, okay?”  
Sirius mumbled, like he was afraid to say it, but both of them knew what he was saying, “You don’t have to go, you know.”  
“I wish that were true, Siri. I really, really do.”  
And with that deafening sense of finality, the younger of the two Blacks walked out the door of the compartment, letting it slide shut behind him.  
Just another barrier, separating the two.


	3. September 1, 1976, 10:38 AM

Sirius had curled up on the seat of the train, clutching onto his legs and squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as possible.   
He didn’t even hear the door sliding back open, he was so wrapped up in himself.  
What he did hear, however, was the sound of someone crunching on a chocolate frog.   
Trying to ignore it at first, Sirius gave up after a minute and let his eyes flick open and then back shut, “Merlin, Pete, could you eat that any louder?”  
Peter Pettigrew, surprised, swallowed down the entire chocolate frog that he had just started to bite, “Well, yeah, I probably could. But I guess you probably don’t want me to show you that, huh?”  
Peter was filled with delight as Sirius laughed at his joke, finally sitting up, “You’re right, I really don’t. I’m trying to let myself fall into a deep void of sadness over here, and your chewing throws me off my game.”  
Not even hesitating now, Peter pushed his friend’s legs to the side and sat down next to him, “You know you can’t just say that without explanation, Sirius. What’s going on?”  
Sirius took the chocolate frog that Peter handed to him, munching on it thoughtfully, “I’ve just had a rough morning, you know?”  
“Did you get into a fight with James, or something? Where is he?”  
“He’s probably not here yet. I actually left before he woke up,” Sirius paused at the worried look on his friend’s face, chuckling a little, “Don’t worry, we didn’t fight. I just wanted to meet Regulus.”  
“Oh,” Peter looked relieved to hear that his two heroes friends weren’t fighting, but he still wrinkled his nose in concern, “Wait, so did you and your brother fight?”  
The pale boy before him had a snarly sort of grin on his face, “I wish we’d had a fight . A fight would’ve been a hell of a lot simpler to deal with.”  
“Well, what happened?”  
Peter held out another chocolate frog, which Sirius bit the head off of quickly and viciously, “It’s not important,” And then, at Peter’s raised eyebrow he continued, “I mean, it is important. It’s just, you wouldn’t understand.”  
Peter didn’t bother to argue with that, because in a way, Sirius was right.  
It was true that he wouldn’t understand. He’d never had a brother. But why did he have to understand just to help?  
“Sirius, and I say this with all the friendship I’ve got in me, don’t be an idiot. Just talk to me. It’s not gonna hurt you, not just to talk through things. And I’m the only one here, right now. So you might as well.”  
Sirius looked taken aback at first, but merely ran a hand through his long, wild hair, (did he know how similar he and his brother really were?) he sighed, “Damn you Pete, you’re completely right. I’m sorry. Just… sorry. You’re right. I just really want Regulus to be my brother, you know? And it doesn’t feel like he is.”  
Scrunching his nose, Peter ate yet another chocolate frog and settled his chin on his fist in thought, “Wait, but I thought that the two of you had been getting along better. Weren’t you even using those weird mirror prototypes that you and James worked on?”  
“Yeah, we’ve been getting along really well. But he won’t come with me. He won’t even stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. He’s too scared of our bloody parents.”  
“Well,” Peter cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable, “Can you really blame him? I mean, you don’t really have anything of your own now. You live with James, and I know it’s great and his family loves you and we love you and you’ve made a new family, but it’s not the same for him, is it?”  
Sirius looked down at the chocolate frog that was just starting to melt in his hand, taking another bite of it as he was trying to avoid Peter’s words, “Fine. You’re right. But I invited him to live with me at the Potter’s! Why couldn’t he just agree to that?”  
Reaching out a gentle hand, Peter gently patted Sirius on the shoulder, “Because the Potters are your family, but they’re not his. What if you got your own place? Then he could live with you instead of your parents.”  
“Get my own place? Well, that’s ridiculous!”  
“Well, why is it ridiculous?”  
It was always a rare thing, to come across a speechless Sirius Black, but Peter managed to do it more than most, somehow.   
Finally, sputtering, Sirius managed to eke out a response, “Because, because, well, because it just is! If it weren’t ridiculous, I would’ve thought of it already, but since I didn’t think of it, that must mean it’s ridiculous!”  
Peter merely shrugged, “Whatever you say, Siri. I’m just saying, if you happen to decide it isn’t a ridiculous idea, you can take credit for it later.”  
Sirius continued in his anxious silence, merely wrapping Peter in a quick hug and then flopping back against the seat, closing his eyes to think.


	4. September 1, 1976, 10:52 AM

Peter moved himself to the other bench and allowed Sirius to sprawl back out in his seat for a while.   
When James Potter arrived to the compartment, he lifted up his best friend’s long, lanky legs, just long enough that he could sit down, and then settled them back onto his lap.   
“What’s wrong with the loser?”  
James spoke to Peter, who looked up quickly and tossed the newcomer a chocolate frog.  
“He’s going through an existential crisis because I said something intelligent to him.”  
“Well, mate, that’s a fair reaction, isn’t it? I mean, who could expect you to say something intelligent?’  
“Hey!”  
James laughed at the extreme reaction of his friend, “Sorry, Pete. Didn’t mean it. Just had a bit of an off morning. I mean, I wake up this morning, and the laziest boy on Earth has just completely disappeared. Then I find a note, stuck to my forehead, that says that for once in his life, Sirius Black is going to show up somewhere early, and he’ll meet me on the train. Now, isn’t that all kinds of strange?”  
Sirius opened his eyes for the first time in what would seem like centuries, if you were a fruit fly, “Shut your bloody mouth you great prick.”  
“Glad to see you too, Sirius.”  
Peter snickered from his bench on the other side, where he had tried to sprawl in a similarly attractive but casual fashion to Sirius, but instead looked a bit awkward, a bit stuffed on.  
Rubbing a hand over his face, Sirius grinned up at James, “Sorry I left ya, mate, but Regulus and I wanted to meet up this morning. Did I miss anything big?”  
“Nah,” James pulled a package out of his pocket and tossed it at Sirius, “Just Mum making too big of a deal about things, as always. And you missed her going away present.”  
“I thought the going away present was dinner last night?”  
James chuckled quietly, motioning to Sirius to open the package, “You should know by now that Mum is way too anal retentive to not come up with the most practical gifts possible every step of the way.”  
“Is that why you like Evans so much,” Peter piped up, “Because she’s as OCD as your mum is?”  
James didn’t say a word, just reached across the aisle to smack Peter while Sirius fell to the floor, laughing.   
“Lily Evans is nothing like my mum, and even if she were, that would not make me attracted to her.”  
As if they’d conjured her up, the lady herself, Lily Evans, slid open the door to the compartment, hands on hips, “Did I hear my name?”  
James vaulted from his seat, running a hand through his messy hair, managing to muss it even more, “Perhaps you merely heard my heart, calling out for you as always, Evans.”  
The red head rolled her eyes and turned, facing Sirius instead, “Black, why are you lot already yelling louder than everyone else on this damned train?”  
Sirius shrugged, standing from the floor and leaning against his best friend so that Lily would be forced to look at James, “Not sure. Maybe because Moony isn’t here yet to keep us under control.”  
“He’s on the train, in the Prefect’s compartment and waiting to start rounds. It’s where I’m headed right now, actually. But I stopped when I heard not only yelling, but the yelling of my own name. Now, could you please shut up, all of you?”  
Peter scrambled to his feet and the three of them gave her a mock salute, James laughing out, “Yes ma’am.”  
Lily rolled her eyes, and as quickly as she had entered their compartment, she left.


	5. September 1, 1976, 4:13 PM

When Remus Lupin finally made it to the Marauder’s compartment on the train, he was already beyond exhausted.   
“You lot would not believe what I’ve been through today. A third year, for some reason, thought it’d be a good idea to try and transfigure his best mate into a rabbit. A bloody rabbit! Which of course went horribly, and guess who had to go help sort the whole thing out?”  
“Presumably you, Remus,” Came the muffled reply of James Potter, who had a shirt covering his face.  
“What are you all doing? Why is,” Remus gestured rather unspecifically, “This, happening?”  
The scene that had lay in front of him made Remus wish that he could walk back to the compartment with the rabbit boy and stay there for the rest of his life.   
Sirius was laying, back flat against the well and resting with merely his shoulders on the ground at the back of the compartment.   
In rat form, Peter was sitting on the bottoms of Sirius’s shoes.   
And James was hanging from the overhead compartment, his shirt having fallen most of the way and covering his face.  
“Well,” Sirius began to speak, but in a moment all the blood had rushed to his face and he tapped on James’s legs to go instead.  
James sighed, face similarly reddened but not quite so intense yet, “Well you see, we were talking about this muggle circus that Sirius and I went to go see in America over the summer, and how they have animals in their shows and they do all sorts of acrobatic tricks and stuff.”  
“Okay…” Remus searched the eyes of his best friends, “But how exactly did that lead to this?”  
“Sirius was saying that he totally thought that we could do all the stuff they did, and probably do it way better, if we just practiced once or twice.”  
Remus rubbed his fingers along his temples, a too late attempt to ward off a migraine, “So this is your attempt at building up a circus? This? Now? Here?”  
Sirius and James both did awkward sort of shrugs from upside down, which sent Sirius tumbling to the ground.  
Peter gave a terrified squeak as he went flying through the air, Remus reaching a hand out to catch him calmly.  
“You okay, Pete?”  
The rat was shaking lightly, but after being set onto the seat next to them, he transformed back to human quickly and happily, “I’m alright. Just a bit shook up.”  
James and Sirius both stood up suddenly, next to their two best friends, “Sorry Peter,” Sirius was still flushed quite a brilliant red, “I just mucked up the act a bit. But Rem, I promise you, give us like a week or two and we’ll be the best circus act anyone has ever seen. We’ll figure out how to write you into it too, don’t worry.”  
Remus Lupin absolutely did not want to be a part of their foolhardy circus act, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t happy to be with his friends again.  
Even if they were absolute idiots.


	6. September 1, 1976, 6:58 PM

It was a well established fact that on the Hogwarts Express, no matter where you sat, you did not want it to be in any of the compartments immediately surrounding that of the Marauders.  
The seats that the four boys sat on had been theirs since the beginning of first year, and had been greatly avoided by most of the population since the beginning of second. The surrounding cabins would tend to only have lower years in them, students who didn’t know the dangers of being on the train next to them.   
This year, heading to their sixth year, the boys made so much noise that several prefects came in to sigh at them, prefects who rolled their eyes at Remus and then shrugged and walked off.  
The boys would immediately go back to playing games, laughing at the loud music they had playing and occasionally jumping from seat to seat.   
But when Lily Evans once again entered to the Marauder’s compartment, she didn’t do it as a prefect.  
She did it as an angry girl, who wanted the boys to shut the hell up.  
However. when she slid open the door to the compartment, listening to the loud laughter and thumping music, she was met with a sight that she never would have expected.   
The sight of the four Marauders, wearing a rather shocking lack of clothes.  
“Oh my god,” She spluttered out, covering her eyes with her hands like a child would before she could stop herself, “What the hell are you doing?”  
She heard more laughter, shouting, then the sound of Remus sighing, “Sorry, Lily, sorry. You can, um, uncover your eyes. We’re not naked. Or at least, we’re not exposed.”  
“Although some of us could be, if you’d prefer,” The voice of James rang out against the rest of the noise in the room.  
Dropping her hands, Lily glared at him, “Potter, shut up. Now, again, what. The. Hell. Are you four doing?”  
It was true that the boys weren’t naked, but they definitely weren’t fully clothed.   
Remus rubbed the back of his neck, looking shy, “We were just, uh, playing a game? You know?”  
The redhead shook the hair out of her face and looked around the compartment, taking in everything.   
A set of gobstones lay on a small folding table at the center of the small space.  
The boys sat around it in various stages of undress.   
Peter wore almost all of his clothes, missing only his shoes and socks.  
James was seated across from him, wearing boxers and a shirt, missing his glasses.  
Said glasses were, in fact, on Sirius, who was still chuckling, wearing just the wire rimmed spectacles along with his underwear.  
And then there was Remus, who was blushing bright red. The only clothing he was wearing were his socks, and he had some fabric-probably someone’s shirt-thrown over his lap.   
“What kind of game is this?”  
Peter spoke up from the corner where he sat, his face a brighter shade of red than the crimson on the robes laying on the floor, “We’re playing strip gobstones.”  
“Strip gobstones?” Lily echoed back, “Who in the everloving fuck plays strip gobstones?”  
The boys shrugged, Remus speaking up again, “I’m pretty sure just us. It’s fun, though. But I’m sorry you had to, uh, see all this.”  
Sirius finally managed to stop laughing, long enough to make an offer, “You can join in if you want, Evans. It’s loads of fun.”  
“Black,” There was warning a thick layer of menace in her voice as she warned him, “I’d watch what you say right now, if I were you.”  
James spoke up then, immediately at the defense of his best friend, as well as desperate for attention from one Lily Evans, “Come on now Evans, there’s no need to be rude. I’d say that was a pretty kind offer on his part, wouldn’t you? It really is a fun game, you should play.”  
She didn’t speak, just flipped them off, Remus apologizing hurriedly, “I’m sorry about them, Lily. You really are welcome to play if you want, but clearly you don’t want to, so just ignore them, yeah? Did you, um, did you need something?”  
“Need something?” She was listless, and probably didn’t realize that she was staring at James Potter in his boxers and mostly unbuttoned shirt.  
Sirius snapped twice, getting the girl’s attention, “Yes, darling Evans, did you need something? Or did you just hear that we were taking our clothes off and you had to come in?”  
“Oh,” Lily seemed to be coming out of a sort of daze, shaking her head to snap her mind back to attention, finally, “Oh, yeah, I did need something! I came down because my compartment is on the other side of the damn train, and even still I could hear you all from there! Is it really necessary to be this loud?”  
Peter, looking like a scolded little boy, was the first one to speak up, “Sorry, Lily. we’ll try to keep it down a bit. We’re just having fun.”   
James sighed, “Wormtail, c’mon mate, don’t make promises we’re not gonna keep.”  
Lily had completely become herself again, making a rather obscene hand gesture at the boy, “Potter, shut the bloody hell up. Thank you, Peter, I appreciate it. Anyway, I’m leaving, and you lot had better get dressed. We’ve got about half an hour until we arrive at the station.”  
With a flip of her long and fiery hair, she marched out of the little room and slid the door shut.


	7. September 1, 1976, 7:30 PM

By the time the train arrived at the Hogsmeade station, the four Marauders had put all their clothes on and were already standing, waiting to sling open the door and get to the castle.  
Not surprisingly, they were the first in the carriages that night.   
When they arrived at Hogwarts, the four of them took their usual moment to soak in the glory of the great castle.   
Peter always stared at the turrets, wondering how it was possible to build something that was so tall, so fantastic, so magical.   
James loved to see the history of the place that practically emanated from the giant castle, the history of the people who had passed through its hallowed halls.   
Sirius basked in the wholesomeness of it all, of a place where he wasn’t just a member of the Noble House of Black, (and a disgraced member at that) but a wizard, a smart wizard, a man with intelligence and prowess and potential.   
And Remus? Remus looked up and saw a place that finally accepted him, a school he’d only ever dreamed of attending, that let him be a part of everything.   
The four Marauders made their way into the school with their usual confident struts.   
“Right, lads, you wanna be by the teachers’ table or by the door?” That was the question Sirius asked every year, and the answer was always the same.  
James sighed, “By the door, dumbass.”  
It was always their choice, because not only did it give them the chance to scope out the new first years as they were entering the hall, but it also allowed them to escape the giant room first and get to their dorms before anyone else did.   
The boys were seated before anyone else, Sirius and Remus on one side, James and Peter on the other. They were bent together, already discussing the first round of pranks for the year, all pretending not to see Sirius’s furtive glances across the Hall to the Slytherin table, waiting to see his brother walk in.   
“So I figure, no one’s ever gonna see it coming if we change all the colors to green and silver, right?” Sirius was already laughing just thinking about it.  
Peter seemed skeptical, “But that doesn’t seem like a very Gryffindor pride thing to do, y’know? That doesn’t seem quite right.”  
Remus spoke up then, “I think that’s the point, Pete. No one would suspect the four most Gryffindor people in the school to do something so utterly Slytherin. I think it’s a great idea, Padfoot,” And then when he saw the smirk that cracked across his long haired friend’s face and recanted quickly, “I mean, I think it’s absolutely balls crazy. But for an idea that’s absolutely balls crazy, it’s not too terrible.”   
Snickering, James patted Sirius’s shoulder fondly, “Sorry mate, but he’s right. It’s balls crazy, but it is a neat idea. We should try it.”  
Sirius, however, was not listening. Instead he was staring intently at the table of the house in question, where his brother had just found a seat at the perfect angle where there was a clear space between them to see each other. It just didn’t seem like Regulus had noticed him yet.   
The Sorting had begun and the four boys cheered loudest of all, as they always did, but their usual barker, Sirius, was quite distracted. Sure he shouted whenever a House was announced, extra loud on new Gryffindors, but he was utterly overcome with trying to catch the eye of the youngest Black.   
It took about fifteen minutes for him to realize that Regulus was avoiding his gaze.  
After a begging a piece of parchment off of Remus, Sirius wrote a quick note to his brother, quickly enchanting it into a paper airplane and flying it across the Hall:  
Oi, Reg, what’s up? I had a new idea, maybe you can mirror me later tonight?  
He watched Regulus read it, watched Regulus shake his head, watched Regulus scribble a response, watched Regulus send it flying back.  
Sirius unfolded the note, wondering why his brother was staring at the table instead of looking up at him, and found the answer immediately:  
Sirius:  
I think it’s time we both stop pretending. We’re not brothers anymore. I don’t know how long it’s been since we really were. I’ll send your mirror back to you soon.   
Formally,  
R.A.B.  
Merlin’s bloody boxers, that was all he got?   
A note?  
Formally?  
Initials?  
What in the hell was that shit about?  
Stuffing the note in his pocket, Sirius gave a cheer as a little girl was announced to be Ravenclaw and promptly placed a hand on Remus’s thigh.   
The sandy haired boy turned to his friend with a start, hissing in shock, “What the hell, Sirius?”  
Sirius smirked and rubbed his thumb lightly along his friend’s thigh, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “You wanna sneak off and make out?”  
“We are not-” Remus paused, closing his eyes for a moment and then giving Sirius a soft look, “What happened?”  
Attempting to pretend he didn’t know what Remus was talking about, Sirius gave a shout and banged on the table as a new boy was called as Hufflepuff, and then let himself concentrate solely on tracing the alphabet on the werewolf’s leg, “Don’t know what you’re talking about, darling boy, but it’s not an answer to the question.”  
Remus swatted at the hand, sighing now, “You only ever get like this when something has gone wrong, usually with your family.”  
“Get like-Woo! Go Gryffindor!-Get like what? Horny?”   
“No, you’re always horny,” Shaking his head, Remus continued to push away Sirius’s hand, not realizing that he was more holding it than anything else, “You’re just not always horny for me, you know? Everytime something bad happens you suddenly want to ravage me in a broom closet. Maybe it’s because I’m the straightest of the four of us and you want a challenge, maybe it’s because I make you feel comfortable with yourself, I don’t know. But this isn’t the right way to deal with things, okay?”  
“Au contraire, my furry friend. Not only am I in fact constantly horny for you, as well as most other people, but I would also say that sex is always the best way to solve all of your problems. If everyone just started having sex all the time, we’d reach world peace in no time.”  
“They tried that in the 60’s, Sirius. Haven’t you heard of Woodstock?”  
“Well I’ve heard about a certain kind of wood, that’s for sure, and you’d see what I mean if you’d join me in a broom closet.”  
“We are not going to go shag in a broom closet!” Remus snapped, sudden, at just the perfect time.  
For you see, unbeknownst to the two arguing Gryffindor boys, the sorting had just ended.  
Unbeknownst to them, Dumbledore had just silenced the hall and cleared his throat to begin a speech.  
Unbeknownst to them, Remus’s voice was the only one in the entire Hall at that moment.  
The silence that followed, though, that hit them instantly. It was thick, palpable, obvious.  
And then came the laughter.  
It washed over them, a tidal wave, as the the two slowly realized what had just happened.   
Remus turned a ferocious shade of red, practically shining under the starlight of the Great Hall, before standing up and storming out.  
The Hall was soon silenced again by the professors, and the other three Marauders lowered their heads to the table, Peter and James from laughter, Sirius from regret.   
Certainly, this was going to be a long year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say that I'm sorry I'm such a trashy writer but oh well here we are and I guess you're reading it so that's something, at least


	8. September 2, 1976, 5:03 AM

Sirius did not talk to Remus again on the night they arrived. In fact, no one did.  
He had retreated into his bed, pulling the curtains tight and charming them shut.   
Come morning, he got up early and left the room quickly, going to apologize to Lily (Who always slept in the common room on the first night, for some reason) for leaving her to bring the first years up to the tower the previous night without his help.   
She accepted his apology easily and accompanied him to breakfast, where the two of them would stay for hours, where for the first time in a long time he would not sit with the other three Marauders.   
When the rest of Lily’s roommates arrived, they were courteous enough not to mention Remus’s outburst the night before.  
Dorcas Meadowes did not mention it because she had been harboring a crush on Remus for quite some time, and was hoping for the best.   
Marlene McKinnon did not mention it because she and Sirius had quite an intense and long term relationship, not of romance but of want combined with friendship, and she understood what Remus was dealing with.   
And Mary Macdonald did not mention it because, quite simply, she didn’t want to be a bitch.   
So instead the four girls surrounded the young man, and he found peace in their happy conversations, in their light hearts.  
He did not look at the end of the table, where his other friends sat.   
He would not look at Sirius Black, for fear that all of his emotions would burst out of him.   
The bastard.   
Why did Remus have to be a last resort for when Sirius was feeling bad?  
Why did Remus have to yell so loudly about it? God, after all, didn’t he suffer enough on the regular? Was the added torture of his own temper really necessary?   
And why?  
Why?  
Why did Remus have to still be thinking about it? Not about his embarrassment from yelling (although he was, of course, thinking about that) but thinking instead about the way he had felt, with Sirius’s hand on his leg and every godforsakenly lovely word he was saying and  
And  
And   
God, the bastard!   
Sirius would fuck literally anyone, all the way up until the point where he was having an existential crisis, and suddenly all he wanted was to start feeling up Remus.   
It wasn’t fair.  
Remus was straight, he knew he was straight, he had to be straight. He was already enough of a burden on his parents, he wasn’t going to add to any of that by telling them he was gay.  
Which he wouldn’t tell them, anyway.   
Since he wasn’t gay.   
Goddammit, Sirius was always getting under his skin.   
Remus let his mind drift off to the first time that he and Sirius had ever kissed.  
_It was their fourth year, almost summer break.  
Sirius had gotten a particularly scathing letter from his parents, ten pages long and basically written to insult everything that the boy had ever done.  
Before Sirius had even given himself the time to be affected by it, he had convinced the Marauders to throw an end of year party.   
The night after he’d received the letter, they’d snuck in enough booze to get the entire Gryffindor House drunk and were throwing one of the first great parties that the Marauders would host.  
Sirius had gotten wasted before the party had even started, and slowly everyone else followed, even though Remus took some convincing.  
It was soon after Remus had gotten himself drunk that Sirius had wrapped an arm around his waist, talking too loudly as always and grinning from ear to ear, “Remus, buddy! How’s my favorite little man?”  
Remus snorted, “Sirius, I’m half a foot taller than you.”  
Sirius, in spite of the fact that he was looking up at him, denied this immediately, “Nah, I think I’m taller. Say, you wanna go somewhere quieter?”  
That was strange, Remus remembered. Sirius loved noise, especially when he was feeling as down as the letter had made him, and going some place quieter wasn’t what his shaggy-haired friend would normally want.  
But Remus did want to go somewhere quieter, so he didn’t take the time to question it.   
He followed Sirius up the stairs to their dorm room, throwing himself onto his bed. He expected Sirius to go to his own bed, or a chair, but instead the boy sat down next to him, bouncing a little.   
The two talked for a while, at a giggly stage of drunkenness that made everything they said hilarious, until suddenly Sirius sat up straighter and turned to face Remus more directly, “Rem. Rem. Rem. Rem. R-”  
“What, Sirius?” Remus would normally be annoyed, but now he was just laughing.   
“Can I kiss you now?”   
What?   
Sirius was looking him dead in the eye. There was no hesitation in his words, not a speck of questioning in his eyes, just earnest curiousity.   
“What?” Remus, however, was feeling quite the opposite, he was nothing but unsure, and his fuzzy mind drowned out his ability to work through it, “Why are you, um, what do you, shit, um-”  
Eyes widening slightly, Sirius bounced a little, a soft, nervous look covering his face, “Please?”  
That was all it took. Remus felt such an immediate need to make his best friend happy he didn’t know how to argue. He merely nodded, dumbfounded, and closed his eyes as Sirius leaned in to kiss him.   
It was strange, his thoughts running wild.   
‘Sirius asked to kiss me.’  
‘I said yes.’   
‘Sirius is kissing me.’  
‘I’m kissing him back.’  
‘He’s only the second person I’ve ever kissed.’  
‘Sirius Black is kissing me.’  
‘And I like it.’  
‘Did I just make that noise?’  
‘I did.’  
‘Did he just make that noise?’  
‘I liked that noise.’  
‘Maybe I can get him to do it again.’  
The two boys, tangled up in each other, rolled across the bed. ___  
Suddenly, Remus was pulled from his memories of that night, his eyes opening up (When had he closed them?) at the sound of Lily’s voice, “Hey, um, Rem? You awake?”  
Remus shook his head to clear his thoughts, trying to pull himself back into the moment, “Sorry, sorry Lily,” He took the excuse she had given him, “I just didn’t get much sleep last night. I apologize for drifting off.”  
Lily chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, really. None of us honestly give a damn. There’s just somebody,” She jerked her chin forward, and he turned to look, “Here to talk to you.”  
Sirius.  
Having just been pulled from his daydream, it took Remus a moment to decide if Sirius was really here or if he was hallucinating.  
“Hey, Moony. I was hoping we could talk for a minute?” Sirius rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little unsure of himself.  
Remus pinched his arm and winced at the pain and at the realization that came with it.  
Not a hallucination, dammit.   
“Sirius,” He nodded coldly to the boy standing over him and then stood up, giving the girls a warm smile, “Sorry ladies. I think I need to head out. Catch up with you all later?”  
The girls nodded to Remus as he walked off, Sirius trailing after him.  
Finally, Sirius was clearing his throat, moving quickly to match his friend’s large stride, “Look, Rem, I’m sorry about yesterday. I-”  
Remus wheeled around and walked backwards so he could face Sirius, “No. We’re not having this conversation. I didn’t leave so we could go somewhere quieter,” There was acid spewing out from his voice, “I left so I wouldn’t have to talk to you.”  
“But I just want to-”  
“No.”  
And with that he walked away, leaving an uncharacteristically still and silent Sirius behind him.


End file.
